Variations over COVID vaccine ends longtime friendships

Dear Abby: The pandemic has put a pressure on relationships. Last yr, I misplaced my finest good friend of 40 years over the COVID vaccines. I consider the vaccine helps to maintain me protected, in addition to helps my household and mates. This good friend determined he and his household wouldn’t take the jab. He give up his job reasonably than get vaccinated. This induced a rift so vast that, in his eyes, he and his household couldn’t proceed being mates with our household. I’m unhappy about it.

The large drawback my spouse and I are contending with issues our 8-year-old daughter. She has been finest mates with my (former) finest good friend’s daughter since delivery. There have been eight years of sleepovers, birthdays, park visits, get-togethers and the whole lot in between. We haven’t seen them in six months. We can’t preserve telling our daughter the pandemic is the explanation she will’t see her finest good friend. This state of affairs is so easy and so difficult. What do I inform my daughter about her finest good friend?

— Victim of the Times

Dear Victim: Tell your daughter the reality — that her good friend’s mother and father will now not permit it. Then clarify why. That manner she gained’t assume that that is in any manner her fault.

Dear Abby: I used to be not too long ago contacted by my graduating class to assist set up a reunion. Since then, one of many organizers has determined that our committee is an inseparable trio who should get collectively recurrently by Zoom and infrequently in particular person. 

We weren’t in contact earlier than the reunion and we now have little in frequent, however I can inform she’s lonely, so I’ve indulged her to date. However, she now needs to convene periodically for lengthy weekends at a close-by inn. I don’t need to depart my partner for lengthy weekends or spend time and money on an individual whom I don’t care to befriend. 

When I’ve tried to demur with “unavailability” excuses, she insists we’re a trio and we merely will wait a number of weeks till I can discover an open date. I don’t need to be impolite, however I can’t determine find out how to politely inform her that I’ve little interest in accepting her strategies for an prolonged slumber celebration. How ought to I deal with this?

— Reluctant Alumna within the West

Dear Alumna: Handle it by being frank with this needy particular person. Tell her, “This isn’t going to happen. I do not wish to leave my husband for a weekend. I don’t mind helping with the reunion, but your demands on my time have increased to the point where they are too much for me.”

Dear Abby: The season of nice climate and out of doors live shows is approaching. Invariably, we find yourself sitting by the chatterboxes. These people appear oblivious to anybody else, together with the performers and the remainder of us who need to benefit from the efficiency. I understand these are free live shows, however I don’t need to need to hear to those impolite folks. Any strategies for silencing them so we are able to hear what the remainder of us got here for?

— Disgusted in South Carolina

Dear Disgusted: Keep your tone civil. You may ask, “Would you please talk more quietly? We are trying to enjoy the performance.” However, in the event that they aren’t receptive to your suggestion, think about transferring as far-off from them as potential.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at

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