Dear Abby: Because of frustration with our state’s substantial COVID restrictions and our teen son’s struggles with distant studying, we moved to a different state. At the time, our son was excited to maneuver (we stored asking him to ensure). However, we at the moment are practically by means of the college yr and he nonetheless hasn’t made new mates. He’s depressed and desires to maneuver again.
He performs a sport and has a part-time job, however neither have helped. My husband and I like it right here. In reality, our son loves all the pieces besides his lack of a social life (past texting, FaceTiming and taking part in video video games together with his outdated mates).
We work at home, so it could be an possibility for us to quickly return so he can end his remaining two years of highschool in our unique state. He has all the time been very social, so we’re stunned he hasn’t made new mates. Should we push him to maintain attempting? Or is transferring again for 2 years the perfect for his (and our) psychological well-being?
— Wants the Best for Him
Dear Wants: Moving throughout one’s teenagers isn’t simple, significantly as a result of cliques have already fashioned. Before packing your baggage, speak along with your son’s academics and counselors about why he has had issues integrating there. They could possibly supply some necessary perception.
However, if they can’t do this and you are ready to make the transfer when the college time period is over, do it. Being handled as an outcast isn’t good for anybody’s psychological well being, and whereas it’d profit your son to study to adapt, he may do higher academically when you put him in a friendlier atmosphere.
Dear Abby: I’ve two grown sons who’re 13 months aside. The youthful, age 44, consistently and viciously degrades his brother in textual content messages. His anger stage is so excessive that on Christmas Eve two years in the past, whereas he was visiting from a neighboring state together with his spouse, he declared, “F— this family!” and stalked out, leaving his spouse, my husband and me shocked.
Since then, his spouse has divorced him, he’s been rear-ended in a automobile wreck as a result of street rage, misplaced his job and alienated himself from our household. Online analysis I’ve carried out signifies he’s narcissistic. Last month, I texted him my concern that he’d walked off his job, which unleashed an offended tirade in opposition to his brother and me.
Everything is our fault, and he badmouths his ex-wife mercilessly. He’s an grownup, so I can’t pressure him to hunt psychological well being assist. Is there something I can do? We now not talk, however a mom can’t erase love and concern for her youngster.
— Worn Out in Wyoming
Dear Worn Out: Your son is deeply troubled, and for that you’ve my sympathy. For the sake of your individual psychological well being, I strongly advocate you seek the advice of a licensed psychological well being skilled. You can’t diagnose your son’s downside, and neither can I. You additionally can not pressure him into remedy earlier than he’s able to admit that he wants it. Please don’t wait to do that. I do know you might be hurting.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com.