Dear Abby: Several years in the past, my dad and mom betrayed my son and me. They took in and supported my ex-husband, who walked out on us for a co-worker he was dishonest with. My son and I misplaced our dwelling, our automobile and the life we knew with out assist from any household. My son was nonetheless in highschool, and it was a darkish time in each of our lives.
My dad and mom are each older and have been identified with life-threatening circumstances. They are actually reaching out to us. To say the least, I’m apprehensive. Having to undergo what I did with solely the assist of my mates and son made me stronger, and I (actually and figuratively) have moved on.
I don’t know if I ought to rethink a relationship with my dad and mom. Losing my father’s assist was more durable than shedding my husband, and I don’t need to expertise that ache once more. Can you advise?
— Burned in Tennessee
Dear Burned: You didn’t desert your dad and mom; your dad and mom abandoned you while you wanted them most. To you and your son’s credit score, you moved ahead and created a selected household from the individuals who confirmed they cared about you.
Your dad and mom selected your husband and his woman good friend. Have they ever apologized or tried to make amends? You said that you’ve got “literally and figuratively” moved on. If your dad and mom haven’t achieved that, my recommendation could be so that you can proceed transferring on.
Dear Abby: I’m a 41-year-old homosexual man who resides with my boyfriend and older dad and mom. Five years in the past, I used to be divorced from somebody I used to be in a relationship with for 10 years and married to for 5. Our break up was amicable and civil. We nonetheless converse often.
I just lately purchased a hoop for my boyfriend. We have been relationship virtually 5 years (we met quickly after my divorce) and I need to get married once more. Last time, I used to be the one requested. This time, I’m doing the proposing, and even requested his dad and mom out of respect.
Although I’ve the ring, for some motive I can’t resolve how, the place or when I’m going to suggest. Because of the best way my marriage ended, I really feel horrible guilt for even eager about asking somebody to marry me. I not have emotions for my ex (that’s one of many causes it ended), however I’ve super respect for him. I don’t hate him (like many divorcees), and I really feel it could be stabbing him within the again.
I do know he regrets asking for the divorce, as he’ll make passing feedback to that impact once we converse. I brush it off, however I can’t brush off this guilt I’m carrying for transferring on. Am I fallacious? Are these ideas regular?
— Hesitating in New Jersey
Dear Hesitating: Excuse me. Your ex-husband requested YOU for the divorce and YOU really feel responsible for transferring on? It doesn’t appear to me like you will have moved on very far. It’s simply as nicely that you simply haven’t proposed to your boyfriend. Until you lastly determine the place your coronary heart lies, you must completely NOT pop the query — even when the dad and mom of the present man in your life say they approve.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com.