Getting older canine’s care divides loyalties in relationship

Dear Abby: I’m in a seven-year relationship with a fantastic girl I like and would do something on this planet for. I really feel she would do the identical for me. She has a canine, “Preston,” who she loves and who has been together with her since puppyhood. At 16, Preston is failing badly and is on his final legs. There is little question his time is coming.

We had deliberate on assembly my son and grandchildren for a household celebration after a seven-hour drive. Her plan was to accompany me, however now, due to Preston’s situation, she has modified her thoughts. I perceive that. However, she’s now offended that I’m going alone.

I spend each day together with her and exit of my means all the time to help her. She has no grandchildren, having misplaced her solely daughter twenty years in the past. I will likely be gone for under a weekend and return in loads of time to be together with her afterward.

I haven’t seen my three granddaughters in a yr, and who is aware of when I’ll once more. Should I really feel responsible about leaving her and the canine? I’m caught within the center right here, and am going to upset her or my son’s household it doesn’t matter what I do.

— Man within the Middle

Dear Man: You acknowledged that your important different’s solely little one died 20 years in the past. It is feasible that pet Preston turned like a toddler to her, and shedding him is inflicting her to revisit the lack of her daughter. If there’s any strategy to handle it, postpone the go to together with your son and his household till later within the yr, after Preston’s passing, or have them come to you. If that’s not potential, as a result of it’s solely a weekend, go see your son and your grandkids however stay in touch together with her from afar through the go to.

Dear Abby: My first husband was abusive, and I divorced him after lower than 4 years of marriage. We had two daughters. In 2016, I remarried, this time to a loving, caring man. My oldest daughter was my maid of honor. A yr after our marriage ceremony, she married her soul mate. Her father and I, together with our present spouses, paid for his or her reception.

Since 2017, this daughter has frequently requested us for monetary help. At first we helped, however after a horrible argument, we drew the road, and she or he determined to sever our relationship utterly. She sees us often throughout holidays and is cordial, however she doesn’t name or textual content for my birthday or Mother’s Day, which could be very hurtful.

I don’t know the place to show, besides to hope. I don’t need to be estranged anymore. I miss her terribly, however don’t need to be financially taken benefit of any longer. Any recommendation would assist.

— Heartbroken in Delaware

Dear Heartbroken: Would you actually prefer to obtain birthday and Mother’s Day greetings understanding they didn’t come from the center and that you just have been paying for them? This is what your daughter’s actions have revealed. You haven’t brought about this estrangement; she has, since you turned off the spigot.

I’m positive you’re hurting, as a result of that’s what your daughter intends. Since prayer hasn’t helped you address this, seek the advice of a licensed psychological well being skilled, and I think you should have higher outcomes. You have my sympathy.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at

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