Dear Abby: An expensive buddy of a few years is presently not chatting with me. She just lately moved from California to Denver and had invited me to go to. We agreed on the dates, and I took day without work work and booked the flights. Less than two weeks earlier than my arrival, she abruptly canceled the go to, expressing no regrets or concern for whether or not I’d have the ability to get a refund from the airline.
She indicated that as a result of I used to be not comfy with the just lately lifted masks mandates and different COVID precautions in her state and like to proceed to keep away from indoor eating, bars, and so forth., that she needed to “postpone for a few months,” once we would possibly have the ability to get pleasure from extra actions. When I expressed damage emotions at being disinvited, she grew to become indignant and ceased communication. Is this friendship over? How ought to I proceed?
— Risk-Averse within the West
Dear Risk-Averse: I’m not positive why your buddy grew to become indignant and canceled your go to, until she had deliberate actions that might happen in eating places, theaters, and so forth. I’m additionally puzzled that she ought to finish a friendship of a few years over it. Because that is latest, give her just a little extra time to chill off. Then lengthen an olive department and see if she has put this unlucky episode in perspective.
Dear Abby: I’ve a former colleague whose firm I loved whereas I used to be working with him. He thought extremely of my work ethic, and we labored properly collectively. Because of this, he has requested me to be an expert reference for him sporadically over time, which I all the time fortunately agreed to. The downside is we haven’t labored collectively in six years.
Because it has been so lengthy, I not really feel as if I’m an excellent reference for him. I additionally fear that recruiters will surprise why I used to be chosen in any case this time. He reaches out to me just for reference requests, so it’s not as if I’m damaging a long-term friendship, however I nonetheless care about him and his emotions. How can I politely decline his future requests?
— Reluctant Reference
Dear Reluctant: In latest years, the quantity of knowledge that may be shared about former workers and colleagues is sort of restricted. I consider it’s restricted to the dates you labored collectively. However, since you not want to be a reference, you’ll have to chunk the bullet and be trustworthy about your emotions and the explanation why.
Dear Abby: The spouse of a married couple my spouse and I are associates with revealed just a few years in the past that earlier than she met her husband, she had an affair that produced a baby she instantly positioned for adoption. This was 40 years in the past. It shocked us all, together with her husband.
I consider she ought to have advised her husband earlier than they married. My spouse says as a result of it was earlier than she met him, it was none of his enterprise. Well, now it’s his enterprise as a result of, by means of DNA ancestry websites, this “child” is now in his life, which has turn out to be a humiliation for him. What do you suppose?
— His Business within the East
Dear His Business: I believe it is best to thoughts your individual beeswax and keep resolutely OUT of his household enterprise!
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com.