Can I bring dates to my ex’s place?

Dealing with a breakup? Unrequited love? Having trouble on apps? Moving in with someone for the first time? Making a life change? What’s on your mind? Send a letter to [email protected] or fill out this form.

Dear Meredith,

I left my longtime partner and moved out of our house earlier this year. We haven’t sold it yet, and he lives there with his (formerly our) dog.

The dog is … very high energy and a lot to deal with (a show dog, with papers), and he asked me to dog sit while on a business trip for a couple of weeks. I have no problem watching the dog, but my question is: since I’ve finally started dating, would it be inappropriate for a date to spend the night while I’m dog sitting?

– Sitting

Prioritize the dog – and privacy – for few weeks and have sleepovers elsewhere. Why? Because you’ve written this letter. Because you haven’t asked your ex whether he’d be OK with a stranger in his home. Because it might be awkward to tell a date they’re coming back to a place inhabited by your ex. It’s just … a lot to think about and explain.

If you can’t wait, you could enlist another responsible person to watch the dog while you’re on a big date – or bring the dog somewhere else, like your place. I think the lesson here is that a couple of weeks dog sitting is actually a lot of work and a long time. Your ex probably needs to find a new person to count on for that.

I know you’re probably excited to get out there, but if you’re not comfortable talking about this with your ex, and these are new dates, just wait. Thinking about it from the other side, I wouldn’t want to be brought into someone’s ex-home.

– Meredith

Readers? People with exes and dogs? What would you do?

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